The Gritty Guide to… Squidbillies

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Gritty Guide to....
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Yeee Haaah! Dag namit! Dey terk err jeerrbs! [enter favourite Southern stereotype here]. Yes it’s Squidbillies that show with those redneck Squids from Georgia.

 Did you know adult swim was born in The South? Sure William’s Street is located in the sprawling metropolis that is Atlanta but just down the road you have the Appalachian mountains where if the canon of Squidbillies is to be believed, a great flood millions of years ago left a family of squids stranded on the mountains where they evolved into the buck toothed, hard drinking squids we see today.

 Squidbillies was born from two of the great minds who made Spaceghost. Aqua Teen’s Dave Willis and The Brak Show’s Jim Fortier cracked heads with Radical Axis to craft a one of its kind cartoon that almost didn’t make it. Back in 2004 our American cousins were teased with some impressive trailers and some outstanding bumps but on the day the pilot was meant to air they instead showed a pilot for anime parody Perfect Hair Forever. After which, one of the strangest discussions in adult swim history took place. Granddaddy of Swim, Space Ghost, hosted a discussion group with Aqua Teen’s Meatwad, Sealab’s Sharko and Early from Squidbillies. Spaceghost tries to get the non too chatty panel to comment on what they have seen but the main topic of conversation seems to be Sharko and the unusual way he was conceived (Marco putting his junk in a lady shark’s sharkgina). For his trouble Spaceghost gets both hands shot off by a sozzled Early, followed by his head which then gets taped to Meatwad whilst the also shot Sharko gets eaten by a bear. (Catch this on the season 1 DVD extras)

 It turns out the original pilot was pulled and then completely remade. Six months later the show finally piloted in calamari sized chunks over several days before appearing in its entirety almost a year from when the original was planned to air. Worth the hassle? Oh yes my friends.


So what the Squid Jesus is it all about then? Well for starters you’ve got a family of lawless squids with a pretty established back story considering the shows’ pedigree. Dad, Early Cuyler is a trigger happy ex-convict who had his way with Krystal the gigantic town whore and produced son Rusty before being sent to jail for 15 years.  Rusty was then raised badly by his aunt Lil, his Great Granny, and also a pack of flesh hungry wolves (although that might have been a dream he had) before finding his dear old Dad working on a chain gang.

The Sheriff being a docile clone sort of chap sees the touching reunion and sets Early free to be with his boy. The two of them promptly set up home in aunt Lil’s meth lab Hair Salon/ Peanut Parlor with Lil and Granny and the family is complete.

It’d be a pretty predictable show if the show stopped there but luckily this is a green lit, fully sponsored Adult Swim product. Imagine a Southern Fried Aqua Teen with a side of 12 Oz Mouse and you’re halfway there. In setting up the back story early on it leaves the writers to concentrate on the beef of the show which follows Aqua Teen’s absurd take on storytelling by piling up huge layers of jokes in one episode which may never be addressed again. So what are we talking about here? How about a field full of Sheriff clones who throughout the show replace their predecessor with a bloodthirsty stealth kill? A new brand of mutant fried chicken wings created from Early’s DNA? Squiddly Diddly ain’t got nothing on this.












Dan Halen

 He’s… a man? An ageless, naked ginger man and head of a major corporation who employs Early as his CEO in order to take on any legal flak that might come his way. He sells dangerous baby killing products to fund the building of his giant demonic tower. He may well have killed Christ and given Adolf the push he needed to kick off that Nazi thing. A thoroughly nice chap then eh? Na he’s purest evil in the form of a giant chin but highly entertaining.












 Lovable five legged Granny spends the autumn of her life in a massive walking frame which she seems to have little or no control over. She regularly gets thrown out of her walker during the heated frolics of whatever is going on that episode and is largely there for her sage like ramblings. Granny is voiced by none other than Dana Snyder who in case you didn’t know is the voice behind Aqua Teen’s Master Shake. She can converse with both Squid Jesus and Satan Squid possibly due to her being so close to death or perhaps because she’s hallucinating. Granny’s finest hour came when she was horrifically burned in a tanning accident and had the skins of wild animals grafted to her flesh which turned her into a marauding beast with a hunger for flesh and destruction.. She got better though.


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